The connection between self-boundaries and freedom

When we talk about boundaries in the mental health world, we’re usually referring to the kind we set with other people. But what about self-boundaries and how they can improve our lives when applied as a form of self-care? It can be an important step in our wellness journey to define what your personal boundaries are at this time in your life. Some of us grew up in an overly controlling environment where boundaries were restrictive and unhealthy for us so creating our own boundaries can be a way to define our own terms for our lives. On the other hand, some of us grew up in a boundaryless environment where we felt out of control and did not develop a full sense of which healthy boundaries to set with ourselves or others. Healthy boundaries provide us true freedom to explore, adjust, and also be safe. Think of a young toddler who is learning to crawl. If they are kept in a small space, they don’t get the chance to learn and grow and test their limits. On the other hand, if they are let loose with no boundaries in place, they could easily get hurt the first time they encounter obstacles in the area or their natural limits.

Personal boundaries look different for everyone but here are some examples of the difference between self-boundaries that bring us true freedom and ones that are self-limiting:

We can have:

Freedom from intrusive thoughts.

Freedom from unhealthy relationships.

Freedom from societal expectations.

Freedom from self-limitations.

Freedom from misplaced guilt.

We cannot have:

Freedom from consequences.

Freedom from responsibility.

Freedom from natural limitations (gravity, needing oxygen ect. )

Examples of self-boundaries:

I make an effort to walk every day.

I set aside a portion of my money on things I need for my health and mental health.

I don’t worry about what other people think of me.

I don’t eat food that I’m allergic to or that hurts my stomach.

I always let a friend know where I am when meeting new potential partners.

I only trust people in my life who have earned it.

I speak kindly to myself when I make a mistake.

What new self-boundaries would you like to set in the spirit of self-care?