When we mess up-An Internal Family Systems Therapy Perspective

It’s a very human thing to experience a sense of internal conflict regarding how to cope with our mistakes or errors in judgement. It is crucial to differentiate between believing the worst about ourselves and recognizing an area of growth. By exploring this distinction through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we can gain valuable insights into our inner selves and cultivate self-compassion.

1. Internal Family Systems Therapy: An Overview:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a renowned therapeutic approach that focuses on understanding and harmonizing the various parts of our inner selves. IFS recognizes that each person has multiple subpersonalities or parts, each with its own unique perspectives, emotions, and desires. These parts can sometimes conflict with one another, leading to internal struggles.

2. Feeling ‘Bad’ Inside: An Exploration:

IFS therapy emphasizes that no part of us is inherently bad, even if it may engage in behaviors we consider undesirable. When we experience feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame, it is crucial to remember that these emotions stem from a part of us that feels wounded, fearful, or neglected. Recognizing this helps us approach ourselves with compassion rather than judgment.

3. Doing Something ‘Bad’: An IFS Perspective:

In IFS therapy, the concept of “doing something bad” is seen as a behavior initiated by a part of us that may be overwhelmed, unhealed, or acting out from past trauma. These parts often emerge as protective mechanisms, attempting to shield us from perceived threats or emotional pain. Understanding the underlying intentions of these parts can pave the way for healing and growth.

4. Differentiating Between Parts and Self:

IFS therapy emphasizes the importance of differentiating between our parts and our core Self. Our Self is the compassionate, wise, and loving essence within us that can hold space for all parts without judgment. By reconnecting with our Self, we can begin to understand and integrate our various parts, fostering inner harmony and self-acceptance.

5. Cultivating Self-Compassion:

In IFS therapy, self-compassion is a key aspect of healing and transformation. By acknowledging and empathizing with our parts, we can develop a compassionate relationship with ourselves. Remember, instead of labeling a part as “bad,” try to understand its intentions and needs. Approaching ourselves with kindness and curiosity can foster healing and lead to positive changes in our behavior.

Understanding the difference between feeling we are a ‘bad’ person and doing something we believe is ‘bad’ is a vital aspect of personal growth and self-compassion. Internal Family Systems therapy offers a unique perspective that encourages us to explore and embrace our internal parts with empathy and understanding. By recognizing that these parts are not inherently negative but rather attempting to protect us, we can embark on a journey towards healing, integration, and self-acceptance.