Anger: our best friend.
- Samantha Torres, LPC
- Jun 18, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 21
Take a moment to do a quick body scan. Bring your attention to your jaw, shoulders and neck area. Are they tight, clenched, or uncomfortable?
These are the areas where we may be likely to carry unprocessed ANGER or resentment.
Many of us have seen the destructive effects of anger throughout our lives whether it was a parent’s out of control anger, a partner’s punishing rage or simply justified expressed anger that was met with judgements and labels.
Our anger is sacred. It is the part of us that stands up for us the most when our mind wants to downplay how we’re feeling or make excuses for another person’s behavior. It’s the protective fire that prevents others’ from walking all over us. It’s the quiet urging that something unjust has occurred. Anger shows us where our boundaries are located.
When we don’t acknowledge it, it has one of two options. To slowly tear us down from within or be unleashed once we’re pushed too far. In my experience, individuals with high empathy tend to do the former due to having an acute awareness of how other’s may be affected by unleashed anger but ultimately it comes out leading to guilt, fear and further repression.
How we express our anger is what matters.
Is this anger being acknowledged, controlled, purposeful, protective, balancing or destructing what no longer serves me? Think of a controlled burn that’s done to prevent wild fires down the road.
Is this anger reactionary, punishing, vengeful, out of control?
Examples of healthy anger expression: Cathartically writing an angry letter and burning it, confronting someone about their behavior, standing up for others, screaming into the void (not kidding there is an entire method called “Primal Therapy” if you want to read more about it here.)
Anger Mantras
My anger is sacred.
I am allowed to be angry.
I am in control of my anger.
It is safe to feel my anger.
If you’d like to learn more about body-awareness and emotion:
コメント