Fawn Response: the fours F's of nervous system activation in C~PTSD

Excerpt from Energy Rising:

FAWN. Fawn occurs when you get activated and try to people-please not because you want to but because you feel like you have to in order to stay safe. Research understands this form of appeasement—or people-pleasing—as a survival response to perceived entrapment.10

This might look like repeatedly:

saying yes when you want to say no

offering flattery or compliments to others as a form of reducing your own anxiety

constantly checking if people like you

apologizing even when it’s unnecessary

asking if people are mad at you

acting like it’s your job to fix other people’s bad mood

engaging in activities you don’t want to do just to appease others

only feeling OK if you know others are OK

needing other people to agree with you before you feel confident asking other people for their permission for things you don’t need their permission to do

Example: Matt, the director at an e-commerce company, was often obsequious in communications with certain colleagues and clients. A colleague mentioned a minor error made by Matt’s team. Matt said he could not stop thinking about it, wondering if the colleague thought he was an incompetent leader. He ended up sending him an excessively accommodating email, saying: “I’m so deeply sorry for the inconvenience. We will 100 percent make sure this doesn’t happen again.”